"It was raining. I thought I could park anywhere if the weather was bad."
"I can't help it. Someone has hypnotised me to park illegally."
"I had to take an injured dog to the vet and did not want the animal to endure any unnecessary extra pain limping further from the car."
"I had a residents' parking permit on the dashboard but my parrot must have knocked it off."
"I parked on a yellow line because I had three puppies in the back and I wanted to keep an eye on them while I popped into the shop."
"I wasn't wearing a seat belt because I am an exotic dancer and the seatbelt pinches my nipple rings."
"There was a bee in the car flying round my head so I speeded up to 80mph in the hope that it couldn't fly that fast and would have to stay in the back seat area and not distract me."
"I won't lie. I should know better than to speed on that stretch of road because I ran a woman over there last week."
"I didn't know the officer was trying to pull me over. I am sorry for going so fast but, to be fair, I'd had a lot to drink."
"My mother-in-law was nagging me that she would be late for a function."
"I know it was a no stopping zone but I had to let my dog out to relieve itself."
"I have to break the speed limit when going uphill or my van will stall."
"There was a strong wind behind my car which pushed me over the limit."
"The speed camera was triggered by a jet flying overhead, not by my car."